Running

I hate to run.

Or, at least, that's what I always thought. Until a few years ago I would shake my head is disbelief when someone would express that not only did they run, but that they enjoyed it. I assumed, at worst, they were lying or, at best, they possessed some sort of running/exercise gene that I sorely lacked.

My first career as a runner was short and dismal and, really, more of a coerced occasional hobby than a career. It lasted from grade school through high school and it is this stage that I blame for the psychological issues I currently have with running. I can still vividly recall reaching the running unit every year in school and hating gym class during those times with a hatred I am unable to adequately articulate. I remember huffing and puffing and feeling somehow inadequate because not only could I not run a mile in the times the guidelines said I should be able to, but most years I couldn't even finish the mile without some degree of walking involved. This happened year after year and, after awhile, I felt like a total running loser, and assumed there must be some running/athletic gene that I lacked. After graduating high school, I didn't run on purpose again for twelve more years.

A few years ago, I realized I had to do something, exercise-wise. I felt out of shape and yucky. Somehow I read or heard about Cool Running's Couch to 5K program and I decided, grudgingly, it was time to give running another chance. I did my best to dismiss all my running prejudices and give it a fair chance. In this second running career of mine, I started out slow and on my own terms. It hit me about five weeks in: I loved to run! Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) consistent running showcased some health issues I had not previously been aware of. I could barely muster up the energy to climb out of bed most days, let alone think about running. Sadly, I hung up my running shoes.

And now, here we are almost three years after my second phase of my running career. I have a new primary doctor who I love, I feel fantastic and I am running again, and running more than I ran during the second phase of my career. I am knocking out two miles (or longer) routinely now and, like before, I love to run. Not only that, but I am good at it. My endurance is growing. I am shaving time off my mile. Most importantly, I feel fantastic.

Still, though, there's that little voice from my childhood there, in the back of my head, at the start of every run. It always doubts whether I'll be able to finish my run without slowing to a walk, as if I am somehow incapable of running as far or as fast as other runners; my former insecurities of being a loser at the game of running are hard to shake.

But shake them I will. Those running insecurities took thirteen years to engrain themselves, and then twelve more to fester and compound; I figure I will have these running insecurities for a long time to come.

But, the real point of my post is this: if I can do it anyone can. Really. If you've ever felt you lack some sort of running gene or that you too are a running loser, I'm here to tell you that you're not. If I can do this, anyone can. I am still so thankful for the Cool Running Couch to 5K plan for making me believe that.

Week 6... and Beyond

I have not given up running. I have though, it seems, given up writing about it. Not entirely, I'm sure, it's just that now I'm running the same amount each and every time. Sure, I've had some unique moments, maybe even some bloggable moments but, for the most part, the runs are starting to blend together.

I have stalled out on the Cool Running's plan, though. Not because I don't think it's a good program (I think it's great, actually) or because I've decided not to challenge myself (no, in fact my goal is to run in a 5K this spring) but because, for now, for me, running twenty minutes is enough. It's about all have time for and it's enough to make me feel like I'm getting a good workout. My goal is to maintain twenty minutes until early 2008, and then I'll work up to thirty minutes.

But, honestly? I feel confident now that I could run thirty minutes pretty easily.

It's funny, but I've noticed a clear pattern develop since I reached twenty minutes of running. The first five minutes of running are easy and exhilarating but the next five is where I want to stop and feel like I won't possibly be able to run twenty minutes and start contemplating walking a short distance if only I first run ten minutes. And then that's it. Minute ten passes and I can run and run and run. At that point twenty minutes is cake; I can't imagine tacking on another five, ten minutes is going to be that hard.

I'll update as interesting develops occur (i.e. race dates, etc.) but for now, I am very, very proud of myself. I almost-- almost -- feel like a runner.

Week Five, Day Three

I did it. I did it!

I ran twenty uninterrupted, consecutive minutes last night. I did it and afterwards I felt great. In fact, at one point I glanced down at my trusty kitchen timer at a point where I thought I was a little better than halfway through and was surprised to see that I only had three minutes left.

Going into this running program it was always week five, day three that intimidated me the most. I feared that run and figured that if I could do that and not want to die, I could easily make it through to week nine, day three, which is run thirty minutes with no walking.

Honestly, I think I could have run thirty minutes last night.

My goals though, are still the same. Number one is to finish the Cool Running's Couch to 5K walk/run program as prescribed. I don't want to skip ahead or push myself beyond it at this point because I still am very much a beginner and, mostly, because I'm enjoying myself and I credit that to this program for not pushing me too far too fast.

My second goal is to work on my pace and get my mile under ten minutes (Superdad laughingly called that a "girly goal"). I'm almost there now and will start setting faster goals once I reach the ten minutes mark (want to race, Superdad?).

I don't know if you all know this about me or not, but last April when I said my competitive nature was usually repressed I was totally lying. (Sarcasm is a good friend of mine.) So the last goal I've set for myself (for right now, anyway) is to run a 5K sometime in early 2008. For now that's it, but once I attain my goals on running faster miles, I may set a time I want to hit.

Week Five, Days One (again) and Two

After a week of not feeling that well, I just decided I may as well start my lackluster week five once again. I'm glad I did too, because even at full strength these have been tough runs for me. At the end I've felt tired but, more importantly, an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. Not only did I do it, but I could have done more.

Each run in week five prescribes a different amount of running. Like the first time around, my first run had me run five minutes, walk three minutes, run five, walk three and then, finally, run another five. And, like the first time around, the five minutes spurts were manageable and fun.

Last night I ran eight minutes, walked five and then ran another eight. I felt seriously, seriously proud (and seriously, seriously tired) after last night's workout. Eight minutes! Ha!, all you marathoners out there are thinking. But to me? Well, I don't think I've run that far or long in years, and certainly whenever I did it never so manageable or enjoyable.

I won't lie though. Next up? An uninterrupted twenty minute run. I'm nervous!

Week Five, Days Zero and One

I told you I'd tell about the good, the bad and the ugly, right? And this week, in regards to running, has been uuuu-gly!

Tuesday night I intended to go running. I really did. But I just couldn't. I was completely and totally exhausted and was unable to make myself go. I did run Wednesday but it became obvious to me during my run that I was coming down with a bug of some sort. Still though, I felt a sense of accomplishment because I made it through my run anyway.

I also was proud because I realized that when I started out running (a month ago!) ninety seconds was a big deal and now the least amount of running the Cool Running's program doles out are five-minute spurts-- and I can easily do it!

And that's it, folks. Here it is Friday and I need to squeeze two more runs in this week to stick to my goal. I think I need to develop some sort of alternate goal system for when I'm under the weather. Still though, I'm committed to making it out tonight. Or, if our church's social fish fry tonight goes too late, then tomorrow. And Sunday.

Good. I posted it here. Now I have to stick to it.

Week Four, Days Two and Three

Yin and yang. Black and white. Whatever Friday's run was, Sunday's run wasn't.

Friday it was night. It was dark and cool. I was alone and had the streets to myself. Sunday was bright and sunny. It was pleasant and the sidewalks and yards of my town were teeming with people.

Friday I was energetic. I was fast. I was ready to run and run some more. Sunday I was slow. Lethargic. When my predetermined program was over, I was ready. Friday I was envisioning competitive 5k races while Sunday I was only contemplating getting home.

Running, I'm realizing, like life, can't always be great and even though I can feel my stamina increasing there are times when I'm just tired and don't feel like running. Learning to push through that is just as much a part of running as increasing stamina.

Week Three, Day Three and Week Four, Day One

Week Three, Day Three

Door County and, I guess, the Landmark specifically, is perfect for a lot of things, but Saturday's run showed me that running isn't one of them. It's not that I had a bad run, exactly, it was just that there weren't really a lot of options road-wise. And there were a lot of hills. And wide open farm fields. And a gusty wind.

So what I'm saying, essentially, is that it was a hard run. Not a bad run, but a hard run. But I did it, and I handled it with no problem. I noticed something interesting on this run though, that I've noticed on other runs but brushed off as an anomaly instead of the norm I now think it is, it's easier to run the longer into your run that you are.

Week Four, Day One

I'm not going to lie. Before I left for my run last night I was nervous. Very nervous. Cool Runnings Couch to 5K Running Plan was now telling me that I'd be running more than walking. Significantly more so, in fact. The week four breakdown is run three minutes, walk ninety second, run five minutes, walk two and a half minutes, run three minutes, walk ninety seconds, run five minutes. Now, all you experienced runners out there might think that sounds like cake, but to me last night it sounded like a heck of a lot of running-- possibly more than I could handle.

What actually happened far exceeded my own expectations: I kicked that runs butt and had a fantastic time doing it! I got so into my groove and although I felt tired when I got home, I also felt great. I pushed myself, but I could have easily been talking throughout and didn't feel like I was gasping to keep up. Want to know something else? I even passed two other runners!

A few months ago (heck, a month ago!) running for a minute tired me out and now I'm starting to really feel like I've built up some endurance and might actually be able to make it through to the end of this program. I'm so excited and I can't say enough good things about this walk/run regimen. Trust me, if I can do it, anyone can do it!

Week Three, Day Two

Lovely run last night. Temperate weather, a nice breeze, who could ask for more?

I made it through last night with no trouble. Bring on week four, I say. I still have one week three run left, which is good. These manageable runs are not only building up my stamina, but my confidence as well.

It may sound ridiculous to you accomplished runners out there, but a month ago I couldn't have run a solid three minutes without feeling ridiculously winded and exhausted. And now I can not only do it, but I can do it again and, even though I haven't, I could probably do it again. I can't say enough good things about this run/walk program and how great it's been for me in building stamina.

Week Three, Day One

I did not want to run last night. After finishing up a roast chicken dinner, birthday cake and a glass of wine all I wanted to do lie down and enjoy the memories of all the yummy food. And cake. And wine.

But this is birthday week. Tomorrow is Hank's birthday and this weekend we celebrate both Elisabeth's and Hank's again, with family. That's four cakes in one week. How in the world can I not run with one cake behind me and three in my future?

Both weeks one and two were heavier on walking times than running times. But not week three. Now the running is equal with the walking portions. It requires ninety seconds of running, ninety seconds of walking, three minutes of running and three minutes of walking. Repeat.

I'll admit it, I had trouble with the first three minute running stretch. I was going uphill and I think I ran too fast during the ninety second run. I was winded by the end. But during the second three minute stretch I found my groove. I experimented with my stride quite a bit and discovered that by intentionally lengthening my stride I could still cover a lot of ground without having to run very quickly. I admit this sounds obvious, but my natural inclination is to take short, easy strides. Those long strides strain muscles I didn't know I had, but in a good way.

In any event, I made it. I easily ran a half-mile last night, no small feat for a non-runner like me!

Week Two, Day Four

I know, I know. I'm only "supposed" to run three times a week. But it's been a stressful week; I needed to get out.

I figured since I am almost to week three anyway I would incorporate one of the longer running stretches prescribed there into my final week two run. I was wrong though; next week I'm up to three minutes stretches of running, but I thought it was five. Those two minutes made a big difference to a beginner like me and by the time I got home I was tired.

I did it though, so I'm confident conquering week three and its three minute stretches of running will easily be within my grasp.

Week Two, Day Three

I'm sorry for all the running entries, but this and home schooling is about all I've got. And anyway, I want to track my progress, so I apologize for all the boring talk about running.

Last night of week two--whew. Next week some much longer running intervals get thrown in, but I feel ready.

I chose a different route tonight. North, instead of east. I never realized how few people pull their blinds in their brightly lit front rooms. Came you blame me, slowly jogging by covered in darkness that I looked (OK, stared) in? Interesting to see how others decorate their homes, the furniture they choose, the paint colors they use.

Anyway. The ninety seconds of running with two minutes of walking was easy. Easy, I tell you. So easy, in fact, that I went out for almost forty minutes instead of the prescribed twenty. I am ready for week three.

Week Two, Day Two

I told myself all day that I was going to go running after our evening bible study at church. I looked forward to it all day long and then, right before we left for church, my soup just didn't sit right with me and I got a stomachache that just wouldn't go away.

I decided to run anyway. Who knew when I'd get another chance this week.

It was a fine run. Not great, but fine. The running, once again, felt like it was plenty easy enough and the two minute walking reprieves felt a bit too long.

The highlight though, was the weather. Last night was our first fall night. The temperature was in the fifties and there was a strong wind blowing crisp, fallen leaves across my path. The smell of fireplaces, probably enjoying their first use this season, permeated the air.

A beautiful night and an OK run/walk. That about sums it up.

Week Two, Day One

Yay, a new week and a new running challenge!

This week's running plan is to alternate between ninety seconds of running and two minutes of walking. Sound easy? It was.

Thankfully, though, I figured beforehand that it would be, so when I took off around four this afternoon I invited Madeleine to come with me. She gleefully raced upstairs to change since she'd been asking me just a few days ago if she could come sometime.

She made it the whole twenty-five minutes too, only stopping to walk instead of run on the final two runs. I did a lot of circling back, but it was fun to have company, especially a cute, talkative seven-year-old girl.

Week One, Day Three

My last Week One run. My last run with sixty second runs and ninety second walking reprieves.

I went out last night, after 8 p.m. I'm starting to realize my visions of running at sunrise will probably never happen. And why should they? Running in the evening brings its own beauty. And certainly in this ridiculously hot October, it brings cooler temperatures.

There were people everywhere. Teenagers, mostly. Last night was our high school's homecoming football game and there were swarms of people all over town.

And the run? Fantastic. I felt the ninety second walking intervals were too long and I just wanted to run already. But I didn't; I followed the Cool Running's plan to the letter.

My reward? Today I treated myself to a new pair of running shoes.

Week One, Days One and Two

According to Cool Running's website, a great way to transform yourself into a runner is to follow their Couch-to-5K Running Plan. Ah, who knows. There might be better plans out there but to me, a novice, a walk/run program seems like a good, non-intimidating way to get started.

According to this plan, during the first week I am supposed to commit to three runs lasting about twenty minutes and I am supposed to alternate between walking and running, with an emphasis on walking.

Day 1, Monday

I went out at 8:15 p.m. and a cool, foggy night greeted me. I followed the Cool Running's plan as closely as I could considering I only had my cell phone with me, which doesn't display second increments, only minutes. I probably ended up walking for two minutes between runs instead of the recommended ninety seconds, but I also stayed out for thirty minutes instead of the recommended twenty.

I wound about our village, exploring different blocks but not enjoying myself quite as much as I thought I might since I was preoccupied with timing myself. Not good for the introspective, peaceful run I'd hoped to have.

Towards the end of my time out, I found myself running (OK, and walking, too) across the street from the narrow park that separates our peaceful, relatively crime-free 'burb from one of the more dangerous parts of the city next door. Hm. Not such a good idea in the pitch black night.

All in all though, I felt great afterwards. I felt challenged, but not overly so, and knew what aspects I wanted to change.

Day 2, Tuesday

I didn't really want to run two days in a row, but since I've been very, very not self-disciplined about getting up in the morning, I knew Tuesday would be my last chance for an evening run for a few days.

I felt like a bit of a tool, but I took my loud, beeping, digital kitchen timer with me and ran straight through the most well-lit, busiest road in our village.

Now I understand how people can get addicted to running. Unconcerned with the clock or my safety, I was free to enjoy the crunching leaves beneath my feet and observe the lives being lived in the houses I walked or ran past. The night was gorgeous; a storm was rolling in and I could enjoy the cool breeze, the somewhat scary winds as they blew tree branches beyond their comfort zone and feel the preview of a few, errant raindrops. I also felt I was developing a peaceful, easy rhythm during my running times and was actually enjoying myself, something I never have done before while running!

I probably didn't feel completely challenged, running-wise, but I followed the program exactly and didn't try to run more than was instructed even though I believe I could have. I have tried running too much in the past and gotten burned out very, very quickly, so I feel that, for me, erring on the side of not pushing myself enough is better than doing it too much.

Exercise

I've always been an active person. I love to bike, take long hikes and I walk for a purpose or for pleasure at least once daily, usually more.

That said, I've never been one who "works out." The drama of a gym bothers me: the noise, the TVs, people strutting around in ridiculously expensive workout attire. To me it misses the point. Shouldn't exercising be about more than toning and shaping your body; shouldn't it also be about exercising and toning your mind? A rare chance to be alone with yourself and let yourself think the thoughts you're too busy to think at any other time?

Eschewing traditional gyms and resting on the idea that I have always been active I've sort of just always assured myself that I was in fine physical shape and needn't worry.

And then, last month, while in New York, I climbed Hadley. I was fine, and even climbed it in a reasonable amount of time. What I took issue with was just how I felt while climbing. I felt more winded than I felt I ought and during that climb I realized that something was going to have to change.

But what? Should I dash out and gather all the newest, trendiest workout gear, buy an iPod and start watching Orange County so I could fit in at the gym? No, besides disliking all the things about gyms that I've already mentioned, what I hate more the most is being inside. Exercise is about moving and, to me, there seems no better place to do that than outside in a vast expanse of space and fresh air.

Running? Running has always appealed to me; the movement and the solitude, but the idea scared me. In the past when I've tried running I'd be exhausted before a reasonable person would and I'd give up, dejected, figuring I'd never be able to do it as well as other people. As well as real runners.

Still though, I have decided to try. I'm going to start out with an easy running regimen and make reasonable, attainable goals for myself. My first goal is simply to make it through week one. And you, my lucky blog readers, get to read all about my trials and successes.

Why? Well, one thing that has always intimidated me about running is people who talk (or blog!) about running are already good. They're already running marathons and are totally in shape and never, ever talk about when they were starting out and felt like their lungs would explode after just a few blocks and when they just felt like they couldn't possibly run another inch well before reaching the half mile mark.

But I will. I'll tell you just how pathetic I am and, hopefully, how non-pathetic I become.