Skinny Jeans

I am not a slave to fashion. I am also not one of those people who can effortlessly pull random articles of clothing together and look ridiculously hip and put together. However I do like to look somewhat trendy and as long as I have a couple cheat sheets à la In Style and Vogue magazines I have the ability to at least look as if I live in the year 2006. In fact, I’ll admit it, all I do is read those magazines and wear what they tell me. That’s all I have time for and, frankly, that’s about all I’m capable of. The artistic gene in my family, which is quite strong in others, was lost to me.

Maybe you can imagine my shock and horror when In Style appeared in my mailbox last month chock full of --gasp! -- tight, tapered pants…the skinny jean was back!




Those are what I am supposed to run out and buy to be fashionable this fall? Look, I didn’t love them the first time around, but now all bets are off. Since they were last all the rage I grew hips and birthed three children (I won’t tell you in which order I did those things). How is any normal woman, let alone one who has endured pregnancy and birth, supposed to wear any fashion that accentuates the thigh? Please.

Thankfully I’ve also read that the straight leg jean is also in, although seemingly not quite as vogue as the skinny jean, but I don’t care (and I'd love to be corrected on this point). I guess I’ll have to look not quite as “in” as Hollywood fashion-istas and supermodels and my contemporaries who’ve opted for extreme dieting and, in some cases, liposuction. I’ll just grin and bear it until the next fad hits the runway. But please all you fashion gurus and designers out there, I’m begging you, on behalf of women who’ve hit puberty and mothers everywhere, nothing accentuating the hip or belly area, please. Oh, and while we’re at it, how about some cute, trendy shoes that are actually possible to walk in. Please?