I could, should I choose to, make a very expansive list about all the reasons I adore my children and how I'm thankful to have them home with me all day. And maybe some day I will do that. But not today.
No, today I am going to describe my number one pet peeve about having bodies-- busy, loud, talkative bodies-- around all the time to see how many others can relate.
My number one pet peeve is being interrupted, and not when I'm having a conversation, though I think that's annoying too, but being interrupted when I am thinking is what drives me the most crazy. It might be that I am writing something as inconsequential as an email, but even so, I want to think about what I am writing. I want things to be spelled correctly. I want to make sure I have conveyed all the information I want to convey and when someone is interrupting me every other second I can't do that.
It's reached a fever pitch lately with all of us being stuck indoors more than we would like. I try, as successfully as I can, to partition off my day. When we are doing schoolwork, that's all I do; the kids get 100% of my attention. But I do like some time to myself every day. Time to think and relax and do something that I am interested in. Usually that thing is blogging. Why do I blog? Because I enjoy the challenge of looking at the expanse of white and trying to fill it, even when I don't particularly want to. This is my thing that I do and the kids aren't involved. Yes, it might be about them, but it is not theirs. Blogging is my thing I do most days that challenges me to think and create something that doesn't get destroyed like food or a clean house or clean laundry.
Mom, can I go over to so-and-so's house? Mom, I'm going outside! Mom, can you help me tape this picture? Mom, can you tie this? Mom, Mom, MOM!
One of these days the children will understand that it takes peace and calm to connect one thought to the next. And they will realize that the unimportant task of creating another post in the vast ocean of the blogosphere matters to me and they will let me at it.
But, for now, those interrupted thoughts is the single greatest annoyance I have on a daily basis. Am I alone?
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
More Interrupted Thoughts
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9 comments:
I suppose it's appropriate that I got interrupted while reading this. Had to go break up a fight.
"to think and create something that doesn't get destroyed like food or a clean house or clean laundry."
This is why I sew.
That is why I ride my horse, quiet concentration, adult conversation, and no KIDS. This is also why I work, when I became a mother it was the happiest day of my life, however, my greatest fear was that I would somehow loose me in the process of raising my beautiful children. Then what would I do when they grew and left? as children do. I wanted something just for me.
Writing requires no distraction and I agree that blogging even when you don't want to is a wonderful way to get inside your own head for a while. I am extremely impressed that you are able to organize your time in a way that allows you to do this. It's wonderful! All the more so since you have not one or two, but four distractions. I remember a prof once said to our class, after a moment of out-of-it-ness -- forgive me, but I have four children, and when you have four, someone in your house always has a problem.
Whatever you are doing appears to be working! The home-schooling option seems to be a relatively recent thing - certainly not something that would have occurred to any of the parents of my generation. Not so uncommon in earlier eras - the norm, in fact, before public schooling was widely available. Either you got NO school, or some kind of governess/tutor arrangement. But those were also (I am generalizing madly here) days of large extended families where there would always be "extra" adults on hand. The present model, where the mom is the teacher, sitter, referee, cook, shopper, laundress, charwoman, etc. with NEVER a moment to herself seems unworkable to me other than for a select few "supermoms".
Yes, it is perfectly appropriate, Schenley. Also a bit depressing, for me, since your youngest is the same age as my oldest. I had been holding out hope that it got better.
Thanks for stopping by, shanz_mattese!
Ah, I love that quote, Nina. Very, very true. Speaking of profs, Joe was waxing nostalgic about law school the other night and, once again, your name came up as a stand out prof. High praise from a guy who continues to to hold everyone to sometimes impossibly high standards!
Oh, Pru, it's amazing how many of those duties I shirk on a daily basis. Sometimes out of necessity (grammar before dishes!) but not always. And I think even if the older two were in school, with four kids I would still be hard pressed to find quiet time to myself. I am generally OK with not getting it, it's just that for a few minutes a day (30, maybe?) I'd like them to just not interrupt. Not even be quiet, really, but just not aim their questions MY way.
That's why I knit -- it progresses rather linearly and creates something visible and tangible.
Compared to the erratic, usually intangible process of my children growing up, I can *see* a hat/scarf/sock/sweater growing down from my needles in proportion to the effort I put into it.
P.S. I found your blog through Schenley.
Deborah-- I'm having so much fun looking at all your knitting projects!
Ah, well, now I have read your latest post and ruined this one by all that positive energy. bleah!
kidding, of course.
i just want to comment on, or at least validate, the frequent interruptions thing. this is big deal. a HUGE deal, i think. the inability to have a stretch longer than 15 minutes to even THINK, much less shower or create or cook . . . it is sheer torture for me. i've taken to moonlighting, and that has become an absolute treasure to me. it makes me tired, but gAWd. to have the stretch of UNINTERRUPTED time is pure gold.
and right on cue: "mom!?!?!?"
of course.
I have thought about staying up late, but first off, I'm too wimpy to be so tired. But really, it's my only time with Joe and lately even Madeleine has been up later and later.
So I suffer because I don't want to carve out any sort of quiet time to think in peace. Instead, I just whine about not having any. ;)
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