Dear Lego Luke Skywalker,
If I step on you or your twin sister or your father that turned to the dark side ONE MORE TIME I will wipe that Lego smile off your face with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser so fast your head will spin. I'll do it; I will. STOP hurting my feet or you'll be sorry.
And, oh, by the way, could you please tell the non-Lego Luke Skywalker to stop whining like a four-year-old girl in the movies?